Tag Archives: mother

NFL Football Week 5 Rundown: And Then There Were Two

9 Oct

The best part about watching NFL Football is there’s never a dull moment unless you are watching the Bears/Jaguars game which was a snooze. Aside from that there was a lot of excitement in Week 6 of the NFL. Only two teams have kept their perfect records the Falcons and Texans.

The RG3 Machine Gets Knocked Down, Again, But Worse This Time

Washington Redskins vs. Atlanta Falcons, 24-17

There is always a risk when you are running quarterback that you are going to get hit. Redskin’s quarterback Robert Griffin III is no stranger to being sacked. Despite being sacked 6 times a game there’s no stopping RG3 from running the ball. It got so bad that his mother was calling up the coach because she was worried. We all knew there would be a day when he really got hurt. After a pretty intense hit from Falcons linebacker Sean Weatherspoon with six minutes left in the third quarter, RG3 left the field with a mild concussion. The Redskins were forced to send in rookie quarterback Kirk Cousins to finish the game. And surprisingly the game went just as any Redskins game has gone very close but not able to seal the deal.

Brady vs. Manning(The Older Manning)

New England Patriots vs. Denver Broncos, 31-21

I absolutely love the marketing build-up to games with two elite quarterbacks. I always envision them butting heads on the field making intense kill faces. Then I realize this is football not basketball, they are never on the field at the same time. Instead the picture looks more like this: Patriots’ quarterback Tom Brady making plays as Broncos’ quarterback Peyton Manning stands on the sidelines looking slightly bored.

And honestly the Patriots winning had little to do with the quarterback and more to do with the supporting cast. Manning had 31 of 44 passes complete for 345 yards and three touchdowns. Manning was sacked twice which was painful to watch knowing that he recently had his spine reattached. The Patriots set a new record with 35 first downs. Brady finished the game with 23 of 31 passes completed for 223 yards and a touchdown. So in the end Manning had a better game, he just didn’t have the better team.

Colts Win Game for Ailing Coach(Awww)

Indianapolis Colts vs. Green Bay Packers, 30-27

It doesn’t get more heart warming than the story of the Colts win. Colts’ coach Chuck Pagano was in the hospital battling for his life against leukemia but he told his team to just focus on football. Well that was some great advice because the Colts, who have been so-so, came back for a win over the Packers. Colts’ rookie quarterback Andrew Luck had a good game with 31 of 55 passing, four touchdowns(two that he ran for) and one interception. He definitely proved he was worth his first round pick. Luck had some help from veteran receiver Reggie Wayne who  finished with 13 receptions for a career-high 212 yards.

The game was crazy close and the Packers might have just won if the game had gone into overtime but alas a missed 51-yard field goal by Packer Mason Crosby handed the Colts the win.

Saints Win a Game While Disgraced Coach Watches from the Wings

San Diego Chargers vs. New Orleans Saints, 31-24

So far this season the Saints have a been a team that has given other teams great games. The Saints have been challenging but just enough to push the other team to play better. Now that the Saints have won their first game of the season maybe the tides are changing. With special permission Saints’ coach Sean Payton was allowed to watch the game from the owners box. This was definitely a burst of support that helped quarterback Drew Brees who broke Hall of Fame quarterback Johnny Unitas’ record by throwing a touchdown pass in his 48th straight game.

The Chargers might have been able to secure a win if it weren’t for two turnovers in the 4th quarter. It was a burst of energy from the Saints defense that has been pretty lackluster up until now. The bright side for the Chargers is that their star running back Ryan Mathews seems to fully back. Mathews who struggled after running from an injury had a great game. Mathews had 139 yards and a touchdown.

Texans Still On Top/Jets Still Suck

Houston Texans vs. New York Jets, 23-17

I don’t think that anybody expect that the Jets would tarnish the Texans undefeated record so this game went as planned. On the bright side though the Jets didn’t suck as much as they could have. I read an article before the game that argued that the Jets should be shot like a lame horse and discontinue the season.

Shockingly unlike their game against the 49ers, the Jets managed to score. Soon to be ex-quarterback for the Jets, Mark Sanchez, fought off the Tebow chants for a sad 14-31 passes completed for 230 yards. In Sanchez’s defense even if he did throw better who would be there to catch it? He’s missing his targets to injury: Santonio Holmes, Dustin Keller, and Stephen Hill. Back-up Jets’ quarterback Tim Tebow took the field but it seemed more like a move to appease the crowd than an offensive strategy.

If and when Tebow does take over as quarterback he is going to struggle with the same lack of support issues as Sanchez. Even against the Texans, Tebow threw a perfect pass only to have it dropped by wide receiver Jason Hill. On the side of the Texans running back Arian Foster proved he is the best in the league with 152 yards and a touchdown.

-M

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ryan Lochte is Latin!?!

11 Sep

Just when you thought Ryan Lochte couldn’t get any douchier hotter, I found out today that Lochte is Latin. Apparently his mother is Cuban born. Lochte will be honored at the ALMA Awards which air September 21st on NBC. Other Olympians that will be joining him are gymnast hottie Danell Leyva, runner Leonel Manzano, and boxer Marlen Esparza.

-M

 

 

The Cowboys Are Strict Parents

27 Aug

Dallas Cowboys receiver Dez Bryant is going to be under lock and key. Bryant was arrested back in July for a Class A misdemeanor for assaulting his mother. Apparently there was an argument and he pushed her. She didn’t not need to go to the hospital but the police were still called. Although this was Bryant’s first arrest he previous had an altercation in a nightclub in Miami and was also banned from a mall for bad language and sagging pants. The Cowboys are taking no chances on him getting into the trouble again.

The 23-year old will be adhering to some new rules. Here is what he must do:

1. Attend weekly counseling sessions.

2. Have a full-time security detail. They will be with him all the time: practices, games, lunch with his grandma.

3. Cannot consume alcohol or go to strip clubs.

4. He has a 12am curfew every night.

So basically Bryant is like a 15-year old kid. But on the bright side at least the Cowboys care enough to give him rules. When Chad Johnson hit his wife the Miami Dolphins just sent him packing. And he does get a much bigger salary than the average teenager with a contract of $1.34 million yearly.

-M

 

In the Defense of Hair

9 Aug

I don’t think I was the only one who cried when the camera panned over to show Gabby Douglas’ mother, Natalie Hawks, celebrating her daughters win. This moment of celebration was short lived before critics started nagging on Douglas’ hair. Now Hawks, being a good mom, is out there defending her daughter. And she makes a lot of good points.

1. Douglas has been living with a white family in Iowa. And you can guess how many black hair salons there are in Iowa. The answer is none. Hawks said, “I don’t think people realize sometimes that she doesn’t live with me. She lives with a white host family and they don’t know anything about taking care of her hair. And there’s no black salons in their area [in Iowa] – not one. We had to work really hard to find a stylist to come and do her hair.”

2. Gymnastics is tough on hair, any hair. I mean as a girl I can tell you ponytails are not your hairs friend. Hawks said, “It’s really been African American women that have come out and attacked her. They don’t know about gymnastics. She has to keep her hair in a ponytail 28-30 hours a week. In gymnastics you’re tumbling around on your hair. You’re falling backwards on it. You’re doing “timers” and your hair is constantly snagging on the mat, and for our hair that’s very detrimental. You’re going into foam pits – and any hair stylist will tell you that foam on African American hair is destructive. It breaks the hair horribly.”

3. Hawks got Douglas’ hair done before the Olympics. She got a stylist to come do it. Hawks said, “What is funny is I had someone come do her hair before the Olympics. We put all this effort into getting her hair done and they still didn’t like it!”

(more…)

So No More Ryan Lochte . . .

2 Aug

I knew the day would come when Ryan Lochte would be done racing in the Olympics. I just can’t believe it came so soon. What will I fantasize obsess about now? I am especially interested knowing from Lochte’s mother that he has “one night stands.” Yes you heard it from his mother Lochte is slutty and that means you could be the next lucky girl to wake-up alone smelling like chlorine. Ahh the dream.

So here is how Lochte made out at the Olympics.

2 Gold- 4×200-meter freestyle relay, men’s 400-meter individual medley

2 Silver- 4×100-meter freestyle relay, 200-meter individual medley

1 Bronze- 200-meter backstroke

So he got 5 out of the 6 medals he was going for . . . that’s pretty good. But don’t worry Lochte has said he will be back at the next Olympics. Until then I will continue to online stalk him and keep you updated.

-M

LeBron No Longer an NBA Loser

22 Jun

Thursday night the Miami Heat embarrassingly beat the Oklahoma City Thunder, 121-106. The Heat won the NBA Championship Title that they should have won a year ago against the Dallas Mavericks. It was a happy day for LeBron James who finally got a Championship ring and Finals MVP title. It was a sad day for comedians and James haters who will have to retire the jokes about him choking in the 4th quarter. What will we make fun of now? His sweat band?

Overall the Finals did not provide the excitement we had all been craving. After Game 1 the Thunder morphed into a different team it was hard to believe they had cruised over the San Antonio Spurs and Los Angeles Lakers. The death match between James and almost MVP Kevin Durant really didn’t amount to anything interesting. James provided that he was the real MVP by carrying his team to victory. Not only that but James did something very different from last year, he shared the ball. He proved the saying is true teams win Championships not individual players. James scored 26 points for the Heat but that was just two points more than Chris Bosh. More interesting old man Mike Miller scored 23 from the bench.

And with that the Thunder went to the locker room crying, a place the Heat remember from last year. There is no doubt that the Thunder will be back next year. Durant and Russell Westbrook will definitely be staying with the Thunder. The question is whether James ‘Please Save Now’ Harden and Serge Ibaka will stay if they become free agents next year.

Even though the Heat won last night commentators are already speculating how many more they will win.

-M

 

Dwight Howard Can’t Commit

23 May

I thought we were done with this story. Remember like a month back when Dwight Howard was positioning himself to be the next LeBron James by abandoning the Orlando Magic. Then his mother intervened and he should stay with the Magic. Around the same time there were rumors that Howard wasn’t too happy with coach Stan Van Gundy. So the Magic fired Van Gundy to appease the star, although they won’t admit to that. Now despite all of this Howard is still considering a move. Did Howard’s mom change her mind? What gives?

The source who had this conversation with Howard says that he is considering the: Brooklyn Nets, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks, Los Angeles Lakers, and Los Angeles Clippers. So the field is wide open. If I were Laker Andrew Bynum I would be a little worried that I might be heading to Orlando soon.

-M

Lebron James MVP Again (Sigh)

12 May

Is anybody happy (except for Lebron James and maybe his mother) that he has been named MVP again? This is James’ 3rd MVP Award. I know his former team, Cleveland Cavaliers, are not happy. The award is based on regular season performance. And James had the best regular season performance. He averaged 27.1 points during the 2011-2012 season on just 18.9 shot attempts a game. Thunder’s Kevin Durant was close in this aspect averaging 28 points on 19.7 shots a game. But James averaged more rebounds, assists, and blocks than anyone else.

There are a lot of arguments about what it means to be an MVP. The NBA really focuses on stats but a lot fans believe it should be more than that. It should be a player who without him the team would not perform nearly as well. I think Clippers’ Chris Paul is the perfect example of this, he continuously saves the Clippers’ asses. And if you think about it that way James really is an MVP because how well are the Cavaliers doing without him. After James left the Cavaliers lost 26 games in row and became the second worst team in the NBA. If that doesn’t say MVP then I don’t know what does.

Regardless of the MVP title the real question is whether James will ever win a championship.This could be the year for the Miami Heat. And what basketball outfit is complete without a championship ring.

-M