Tag Archives: drunk

I Wasn’t Drunk, It Was Just Bad Driving . . .

12 Sep

The New York Knicks’ Jason Kidd(formerly the Dallas Mavericks) will be fighting his DWI charge. Over the summer Kidd ran his SUV into a telephone pole in the Hamptons. If he is found guilty he could spend up to year in jail. Despite telling the cops when they arrived that he had “had a few drinks” and slurring his words he somehow managed not to take any blood alcohol tests. So now they are trying to claim he wasn’t really that intoxicated to lessen the charges.

We will see how that goes. It is definitely not the way you want to start off at a new team.

-M

 

Olympic Opening Ceremony Getting Hairy

16 May


I haven’t confirmed if this gentleman is actually covered in man-fur, but that would make it so much better! Russell Mark, 48, a gold medalist shooter from Australia, is due to wear a Borat-style mankini at the London Olympic Opening Ceremony after losing a bet.
Mark lost the wager on an Aussie Rules football game, which is similar to rugby, which is like football without all the protective equipment. Mark said he must have been drunk at the time he placed the bet. Considering Australia’s reputation for drinking, that doesn’t surprise me.
72 more days until we get to play I spy the banana hammock when we watch the Opening Ceremony! Beat that, Beijing!

-K

Michael Phelps Bubble Boy

8 May

As we get closer to the summer Olympics the coverage of swimmer Michael Phelps has gone through the roof. If you don’t remember he is that guy who won 8 gold medals in Bejing four years ago. Still don’t remember him . . . he that guy who got caught taking a hit of bong that everyone made a really big deal about. He lost his deal with Kellogg and was suspended from swimming for 3 months. Apparently Kellogg didn’t see much value in the whole pot smoking muchie demographic. Anyways that story is so 3 years ago and now people sponsors are back to being obsessed with Phelps.

We have learned some interesting things about Phelps recently when he sat down with 60 minutes Anderson Cooper. The first is that he keeps his gold medals in a gold make-up case. I am not sure what is weirder about that, that he doesn’t understand display cases or that he owns a gold make-up case. But if that weren’t weird enough, he also sleeps in a high-altitude chamber. The chamber simulates what it is like to sleep the equivalent of 8,500 to 9,000 feet above sea level. It apparently improves his performance, as if he needs that kind of help. I had always assumed that he slept in a really big bath tub just doing laps all night long.

Phelps refused to take Cooper into the chamber on television. Which lead me to wonder did he not clean his room before the 60 minutes crew showed up? Did he leave some joints unmentionables out? Once he cleaned up his room he tweeted the photo of the chamber.

Apparently a lot of athletes are secretly going home and sleeping in these chambers. I just have a few questions for the makers of this chamber, Hypoxico (the answers are not on the site, I already investigated):

1. Can I use the chamber to get drunker? How long do I have to be in there before one drink=three drinks?

2. What is sex like in the chamber?

3. What would happen if someone smoked pot in the chamber?

-M

Happy Cinco De Drinko!!!!!

5 May

It has come to our that Cinco de Mayo has been Americanized. Apparently the point of this holiday is not to drink as much tequila as possible while wearing a giant sombrero. But just as Easter has nothing to do with a bunny, we will continue to celebrate the American way. In honor of this holiday, we at GTS have decided to put together a little slideshow of famous athletes sporting sombreros. This our effort to make you feel better about getting drunk and putting a sombrero on. Enjoy.

[slideshow]

A Real Fighting Irishman

3 May

Notre Dame’s 19-year old quarterback, Tommy Rees, was arrested early this morning after resisting arrest. The whole thing started when the police came to bust up a house party which they described as a “madhouse of people.”(Thanks officers for describing every party in the history of time).

When the police started to break-up the party Rees jumped a fence and ran. I can’t say I blame Rees he had a lot on the line including his starting QB position. This didn’t stop the police from catching up to him. Once the police caught Rees kneed one of the officers in the chest. The police then pepper sprayed him and arrested him.  It must have been a good party because Rees’ blood alcohol level was at a .11. He was arrested along side Norte Dame linebacker Carlo Calabrese who had a BAC of .12.

Rees is being held without bond and it looks like is will no longer be the starting QB for Notre Dame. This is not the first arrest for the Rees family. Tommy’s sister Meghan was arrested back in October for getting drunk and starting a fight during a Notre Dame game in which her brother was playing. Honestly this family needs to either get it together or get a reality show.

-M