Archive | 7:19 am

Michael Phelps Bubble Boy

8 May

As we get closer to the summer Olympics the coverage of swimmer Michael Phelps has gone through the roof. If you don’t remember he is that guy who won 8 gold medals in Bejing four years ago. Still don’t remember him . . . he that guy who got caught taking a hit of bong that everyone made a really big deal about. He lost his deal with Kellogg and was suspended from swimming for 3 months. Apparently Kellogg didn’t see much value in the whole pot smoking muchie demographic. Anyways that story is so 3 years ago and now people sponsors are back to being obsessed with Phelps.

We have learned some interesting things about Phelps recently when he sat down with 60 minutes Anderson Cooper. The first is that he keeps his gold medals in a gold make-up case. I am not sure what is weirder about that, that he doesn’t understand display cases or that he owns a gold make-up case. But if that weren’t weird enough, he also sleeps in a high-altitude chamber. The chamber simulates what it is like to sleep the equivalent of 8,500 to 9,000 feet above sea level. It apparently improves his performance, as if he needs that kind of help. I had always assumed that he slept in a really big bath tub just doing laps all night long.

Phelps refused to take Cooper into the chamber on television. Which lead me to wonder did he not clean his room before the 60 minutes crew showed up? Did he leave some joints unmentionables out? Once he cleaned up his room he tweeted the photo of the chamber.

Apparently a lot of athletes are secretly going home and sleeping in these chambers. I just have a few questions for the makers of this chamber, Hypoxico (the answers are not on the site, I already investigated):

1. Can I use the chamber to get drunker? How long do I have to be in there before one drink=three drinks?

2. What is sex like in the chamber?

3. What would happen if someone smoked pot in the chamber?

-M

Unibrow Trend Spreads to Babies

8 May

This is so cute. Awhile back NBA newbie Kentucky’s Anthony Davis took a photo similar to the Michael Jordan “WINGS” poster. This inspired a Kentucky mom to have a photo done of her baby like that. She took the photo to be signed by Davis. Davis tweeted the picture out. This baby is rocking the unibrow that said not everyone can rock a unibrow. This should not become some sort of trend.

-M

 

NBA Playoffs Update: The Ultimate Rundown

8 May

There have obviously been a lot of games. Here is the basics of what is happening. As you can see I suck at NBA bracketing.

Round 1

San Antonio Spurs vs. Utah Jazz (4-0)

This was a relatively easy first round for the Spurs who won all four games against the Jazz. Literally, every game was won by an average of 16 points by the Spurs. In the game Monday night it was an accomplishment for the Jazz to loose by single digits. I have to give the Jazz props for coming from 21 behind to within 4 of the Spurs. The Spurs are an unstoppable force. This would be the Spurs 5th NBA Title and it looks like they just might get it.

Los Angeles Clippers vs. Memphis Grizzlies (3-1, Game 5 Wed. 9:30pm EST)

The Clippers have been a great team this year and now they are really proving it. They are on the verge of their second playoff victory in 36 years. Monday night’s game proved how necessary Chris Paul is to the team. They should call Paul the closer because he came back in overtime to score 8 points and lead the Clippers to victory, 101-97. Also props to Caron Bulter for playing with a broken bone and still scoring 14 points Monday night. At this rate the Clippers will advance past the Grizzles.

Los Angeles Lakers vs. Denver Nuggets (3-1, Game 5 Tues. 10:30pm EST)

Despite Kobe Bryant still being on the mend from his injury the Lakers have been doing just fine. Shockingly they have survived without Metta World Peace using their bench reserves like Jordan Hill. Ramon Sessions is proving to be a nice trade for the Lakers scoring consecutive 3s to give the Lakers victory on Sunday night. If the Lakers don’t secure a win tonight they will be off to Denver to continue the series.

Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Dallas Mavericks (4-0)

The Thunder are getting a nice little vaca while waiting to see who they will play next(the Lakers). The Thunder had no trouble making it past the Mavericks. The bad thing that happened is that they lost Kendrick Perkins to a strained right hip in Game 4. They are really going to need him to be back and better than to help control Andrew Bynum when they take on the Lakers. And it looks like Metta World Peace will be back in time for Game 2 so he can have a little reunion with the Thunder’s James Harden. Let’s hope this time no one gets elbowed in the face.

Philadelphia 76ers vs. Chicago Bulls (3-1, Game 5 Tues. 9:30pm EST)

I had high hopes for the Bulls in the Playoffs but with the loss of Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah there is really is no hope for them. They have tried to come back but can’t beat the problem that they have a weak offense and bad fourth quarters. The 76ers got lucky because if Rose had continued to play they wouldn’t be advancing to round 2.

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Giants Struggle, Dodgers Dominate

8 May

Monday night the San Francisco Giants had their asses handed to them by the Los Angeles Dodgers, 9-1. The game was so painful that my friend who is a die-hard Giants fan asked me to turn off the television. It was so bad that you would have thought the Giants had never played baseball before. Literally they couldn’t even keep their gloves on.

The night had started out badly when the Giants were told that reliever, Guillermo Mota, had tested positive for drugs and would be banned for 100 games. This is not the first time that Mota has been banned for drug use, he missed 50 games with the Mets back in 2006. Mota’s drug of choice is clenbuterol. Adam Katz, Mota’s agent, thinks it is a little extreme that he was banned for 100 games for using a less extreme steroid children’s cough medicine. If you are wondering why a grown man would be taking a children’s cough medicine it is because the drug also causes increased metabolism and anaerobic capacity. It is the same drug that caused Spanish cyclist, Alberto Contador, be stripped of his win in the Tour de France in 2010.

The Giants had already lost star hitter, Pablo Sandoval, who is out for 4-6 weeks for hand surgery. It is so bad that they had to bring in outfielder, Aubrey Huff, who hasn’t been playing due to a panic attack disorder.

Something needs to change soon for the Giants . . . maybe a new coach.

-M

 

 

 

 

Brady vs. Tebow at the Met Ball

8 May

Which QB rocked it at the Met Ball Monday evening? Of course, Brady has a clear advantage with a supermodel on his arm, but what is going on with the hair? Tebow looked great, but his tux could have been tailored better, as George would say on Fashion Police. My vote goes to Brady, because he is wearing a non-traditional velvet tux and he looked damn good despite the hair. Swagger, baby.

-K