Archive | May, 2012

Virgins Collide: Tebow & Lolo

31 May

Apparently since 29-year-old Olympic athlete, Lolo Jones, confessed her virginity people has been trying to set her up. Jones is saving herself for marriage but can’t seem to find a good man. Obviously everyone’s first pick for Jones was Jet’s QB Tim ‘the virgin’ Tebow. It’s goes along the same logic when people match up friends of the same ethnicity, he’s a virgin, she’s a virgin, obviously they were made for each other.

Now to speed along the process the fellow Jet, Nick Mangold, is trying to connect the pair and of course he is using the best means possible Twitter. Because there is nothing more that celebrity athletes love than to have their personal lives conduct for the whole world to watch. Solid plan Mangold.

Here is the conversation, in correct English. What is it about tweeting that ruins grammar?

Nick: I’m trying to get Tim Tebow to accept that he and Lolo Jones are a match made in heaven.

Lolo: Thanks Nick but I actually heard Tebow has a girlfriend he just isn’t saying it publicly. The search continues…

Lolo: Ask Tebow if he wants a glass of milk. If he says yes, ask him if he prefers chocolate. If he says no, then no more Tebow date suggestions.

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Nadal 7th Time’s a Charm

31 May

Rafael Nadal aka. “The King of Clay” is on his way to beating the record he shares with Bjorn Borg of winning the French Open 6 times. He beat Denis Istomin of Uzbekistan to move onto round 3. Not that Istomin was really competition he beat him 6-2, 6-2, 6-0. For those of you unfamiliar with Nadal here is what you need to know: he’s one of the greatest tennis players ever, he’s extremely hot, he’s from Spain, and unfortunately he has a girlfriend since 2005 Maria Francisca Perelló. But don’t worry you can always visit his wax double at Madame Tussauds.

-M

It’s Called a Belt, Use One

31 May

Apparently the invention of the belt has not made it some communities. For those of you who are confused a belt is a device used to keep loose pants from falling down. In the case of the man in this video we would really have liked it if he had purchased a belt. The man was catching a foul ball hit by Rays’ catcher José Molina. He exerted very little effort before his pants fell down, which leads us to wonder what was he doing before hand? Did he eat to much and have them open or was he a secret streaker?

-M

Kings Still King

31 May

I would like to start out this post by saying, “thanks a lot” to whomever programed the LA Kings/New Jersey Devils game at the same time as the Boston Celtics/Miami Heat game. My remote pretty much melted when the games were over. Both games were tied in the second half and had to go into overtime. I think I finally understand and appreciate sports bars with 20 televisions. My sad remotes state aside the Kings beat the Devils, 2-1, in game 1 of the Stanley Cup.

The winning goal game with 11:47 left in overtime. Anze Kopitar scored the goal on a breakaway(basically when it is just one player and the goalie). Kopitar used one of our favorite moves the fake out and distracted the goalie, Martin Brodeur.  I love that hockey is so low scoring that if a team makes a shot in overtime the game just ends.

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Heat Push Past Celtics, 115-111

31 May

I guess the Boston Celtics got my twitter message telling them to step up their game.  The Celtics played like a whole new team Wednesday night against the Miami Heat. Celtics’ Rajon Rondo had the 44 points, 10 assists, and eight rebounds.  Not only was a Rondo a scoring machine he scored all 12 of the Celtics’ points in overtime. And if you aren’t impressed by any of that then add to that he frequently used lip balm while on the court playing. As a girl I am excited when I can put on lip gloss and drive, I can’t even imagine doing it while playing basketball. Despite all Rondo’s effort and the fact that the Celtics lead for most of the game, they still lost, 115-111. The Heat now lead the series 2-0.

If you are true Celtics fans than you are blaming the refs for their loss . . . and you might have a point. When the game tied in overtime and Rondo was driving up for a basket you can clearly see the Heat’s Dwayne Wade hit him in the face. Rondo fell to the ground but there was no call. And it’s a little fishy that LeBron James alone took 24 free throws while the Celtics as a whole only took 29. Either everyone was aggressively on James out or the refs are huge Heat fans.

Game 3 is on Friday.

-M

 

 

 

Stephen A. Smith Impression

30 May

This is so funny. SNL doing an impression of Stephen A. Smith. Even if you don’t know who is it is still funny. Basically he has a heart on for a Mr. LeBron James. And maybe his right about this strategy, work well today.

-M

And 1st Pick Goes To . . .

30 May

The Draft Lottery is actually kind of a sad event to watch. It is literally the worst 14 teams in the NBA waiting to see if they will get first picking of the young college stars. So basically if you are Anthony Davis (the likely number 1 pick) you are sitting there waiting to find out which shitty team you will be playing for next year. Maybe that’s why Davis was sporting a white t-shirt and baseball cap rather than a suit. It is also funny that they try to drag out this less than 10 minute ceremony into a half hour. The best part about watching the Lottery is getting a reminder of the teams you forgot existed like the Toronto Raptors.Yes there is still an NBA team in Canada.

Here are the winners of the draft or losers depending on how you look at it:

1. New Orleans Hornets- This was actually an upset since everyone thought it would be the Charlotte Bobcats. Now this is the team that will most likely snag Anthony Davis. Kind of suspicious that New Orleans won and David Stern (Commissioner of the NBA)  owned them up until recently.

2. Charlotte Bob Cats- So sad for Michael Jordon. The Bob Cats could have really used Davis.

3. Washington Wizards

4. Cleveland Cavaliers

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Another Williams Bites the (Clay) Dust

30 May

Venus Williams fell to third-seeded Agnieszka Radwanska in the second round of the French Open Wednesday.  This was not as surprising as Serena’s exit in the first round, but it is rare not to see either Williams sister enter the second week of play when neither are injured.

Venus was competing in her first major tournament since she announced last August she had Sjogren’s syndrome, which causes joint pain and exaustion.

I can only hope this is not a sign of things to come in women’s tennis. V and S are some of the older players on tour, but I still consider them the best.  When they are at the top of their game, hardly anybody can match the power of their serves and ground strokes.  And let’s face it, clay is not the best surface for American players!

-K

Gold Digging Reversed

30 May

VH1′s “Basketball Wives” or as I call it “Anyone Whoever Hooked Up With or Briefly Dated a Basketball Player” just returned for another season on May 28th and the drama has already started. Newcomer Kenya Bell is being sued by her estranged husband Charlie Bell for spousal support. The two filed for divorce in March. Apparently things haven’t been going so good for Charlie since he was dropped from the Golden State Warriors. He is now playing in an Italian basketball league where he earns $100,000 a year. Charlie thinks he can’t possibly live on $100,000 a year so he wants Kenya to pony up her new reality money.

In May Kenya was arrested for attacking Charlie with a box cutter in front of their kids. You would think Charlie would have learned from that not to mess with her. Now Kenya is trying to get a piece of Charlie’s 4 miliion dollar savings account.

Oh the drama . . . it just leads me back to my original thought is anyone on “Basketball Wives” actually still married to a basketball player. They should really rename the show.

-M

 

Horrible styles in women’s tennis

30 May

I thought tennis was a classy sport? What has happened?
-M

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